woman walking at sunrise on beach

This is the year to finally give yourself permission and time for self-care. This is important for many reasons, including helping your brain’s neuroplasticity, your ability to improve problem – solving and reducing some emotional reactivity. All of these add up to help with personal fulfillment, joy and can help with an improved mood.

Everyone needs time to refresh and recharge without distractions. That means not filling up every waking moment by checking our phones, playing a game, looking at videos or social media.

Here are 3 ways to Detox emotionally

1. Mindfulness/Meditation – Everyone has a different idea about what mindfulness or meditation means, so…..Wait, before you get overwhelmed by the idea of trying to squeeze 1 more thing onto your To-Do List,  here’s a very simple way to practice mindfulness: 

– Pause for 3, yes only, 3 deep breaths where all you have to do is concentrate on your body breathing in and out.

– Notice your breath, the rise and fall of your chest, the air moving in and out. Easy, right? Ok, now try for 5, then 10. It’s ok to count.

– You can do this at any time of any day. The point is to stop the constant chatter in our heads and become aware, really aware of what’s going on. 

– Then ask yourself, what is going on inside me right now? 

Whatever it is that you’re feeling is ok, don’t judge it, just notice it, and try to name it.  This may take a while to become familiar with what you’re feeling

– “Oh, ok, I’m feeling anxious about a work project or how a friend responded to me.” 

– Then be kind and compassionate to yourself almost like a favorite, loving, nurturing person in your life: “That’s ok, of course, you are. Work or friendships are important.”

• Because stopping, pausing and focusing on the present moment is so calming, many people want to focus on their breathing for 5 – 10 minutes or even longer each day. It’s a way to center and become more aware of everything around you.

• Another easy way to stop the chatter in your head is to practice tensing and relaxing all the muscles in your body while focusing on your breathing. 

2. Expressing Gratitude

Another option for an emotional detox to practice expressing gratitude silently to yourself throughout the day. 

– Stop, pause and notice all the things and experiences that surround you that are helping you live each day. You might notice clean water, electricity, food, public transportation, your health, family, a pet, work you like, friends, or anything that you appreciate.

– Gratitude is a terrific way to stop, pause and become more aware and mindful in your life of the good things. This also helps you see more and more of what is positive, leading to more joy.

– Quiet Time – Many people feel more comfortable with “Quiet time.” A time spent staring out the window at nothing and everything, just noticing the world around them. Some sit in a favorite chair or a comfy couch and read and/or sip on their morning coffee or tea to start their day by “Being” not “Doing”

Whatever your practice, taking time away from the chatter and running commentary in our heads improves our lives in countless ways. 

3. Detoxing Your Relationships in 2021

How to detox a relationship? Wow, depending upon your circumstances, this might mean talking to a therapist, counselor or pursuing more self-help.

• 1st rule in this: You can’t change anyone but YOURSELF

• Become aware: Listen to your body (why mindfulness is helpful) – Is there something about this person, situation or relationship that’s causing your feelings of unease?

• Can you step back and not take what’s happening personally?

• Is it possible to look at the underlying issues that might be contributing? For example, your partner snaps at you because they’re tired.

• Then figure out what you need and communicate with “I messages” not “You messages”

–   For example: “I can see that you’re tired and frustrated. I felt hurt when I heard that last comment. I want to be here for you, but not as a doormat.”

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